?��ky T?��: October 2007

We?day,?? 17, 2007

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I? ten years o?hen ?allowed the ?y.

??s, as al??h the unplea??rickly feeling in your n?ils. Then the intake of air,?hing?n yo?rachea a?reparing? the con?ion ?our lungs. Then it all c??pelling the foreign ?er from ? sensiti?chnoz. Y?e been e?ed, ?y.

--? />

I d? include "ne?." I?er do. I drowned, plain and ?le. ?as a pretty big wave. I was hotdogging, ?ing off. Life has a funny thing ?aking your moments of centra? and?ning it into a message from the larg?niverse ??'re a joke.
It ca??om behind. Like feeling a fifty-pound bag of con?e mix slamming into ? back. A?hen coming around and slamming into ? face wh??itch?ward. I don't know how my ba?asn'?oken. Th??e plunged under,?ough that mi?? see from below. It's all blue, ? of light. There's n?. There's no?n. There's nothing b?? everywhere, and it's not there for you to drink, ei?? />
Humans can'?eathe water.?arently, nei? can fai?? />
---

?r wa??he k?aid.? it.???? this." He brandished a ?le handgun.
I had my hand??gged? Re?? Th?ould make a good story--someday. Right now, it felt ???y. "??st let me go? it. It's in my back pocket, all right?"

His face twitched. He was incred??esse?t, looked like. I di? blame him. I wa? feeling so relaxed myself. ??ound so I can watch you take it out.? />
"Well."?aid. "All right." I turned around and sl? reached my right hand down. Slid into my po? and grabbed ahold o? wallet.?hed it out.
H?abbe? right away. The? felt like a fif?ound bag of concrete? me ?he back. Then th?rning began.

---
I?ped,?ting rea??k for a ?ue. My face got ?y in those days, whenever I sneezed. Sno??here. Re??rible.

There was a flash ?hite right i?ont of my mouth. Then something was in m?? />
I choked. At first,?hought I?wallowed a bug.
Then I fe?he arms. They we?ushing again??? of ?rachea. ?le h?, en?ed, pounding. Then a con?ion. The thing i??oat ? lik???ting bigger and smaller ?, an?er again? />
It wasn?ntil a few moments l? that I realized they we??? />
---

I couldn't help it. My l???raining. I hadn't had ti?o fi?hem ?ith air, and the?as no chance? seemed, no chance at all that I?ld ever be able to find the surface again.

I breathed in the ?, the water, the plankton. The ocean??hin me.
I fel? heart beginning to ?ter. It pounded, it ?ed.
Wait.? my ?t.

--? />
I fell on my face. Don't know how my ba?asn'?oken. I ??nning fo?eps and ?ght-?'d bette?n before I catch?. Th???h began to flow out of me. I knew I'd never catch anyone?er.
B?he f????nnin?pan style="font-style: italic;">toward me. A man's voice, shoutin? someone. Something ?t an ambulance.
My heart was beginning to?????nding.

No. No? heart.
---

I think I almost died ??r couldn't g????hing in ??ipe. Tiny fists pounded on m?achea, a?iny wing?retched it. I wo?ed if th??hat a heart attack felt like? />
My head hurt. My ??rt. ?ything hurt.

"Wha' happened?"?aid ?ily. The?ere dark, round ?s above me. I re??hey were people's heads, ben?er me in concern. One of them moved from side to side.

"God damn,? said. "You were?n there for a good half-? before I found you.? shouldn't be alive.? />
"Yeah, man," said anoth?oice. I dimly recognized it as belonging to a childhood friend. "It was ?ing.???? much dead. Then when we laid you down here,? comes a?his water. It wa?pan style="font-style: italic;">?ome. Like??, back from the dead. A fucking fountain."

---

I wo?p in the?pital. There? a nurse? />
"Wha' happened?" I said, feelin?zzy.

?'ve been sedated, sir," ?aid. "You were mugged, a?he g?hot you. The bullet ?ced ? right lung, and? had to have emergen?urgery." He smiled comfortingly.?t don't ?y. You'll be?t fine. ? lung's been?aired and reinflated. You'll only be in here? a couple of?s."
My right lung? "B?hat ?t the--"??ed myself. T?hat? The fairy? Right. Sure.

His eyeb? wen?. "The mugger? He was ca? on camera and a?ted. Don??, okay? ? lie back and relax.? />
"Well,"?aid.d you ta?he bulle?t?"
The nurse??ed. ?." Then ?at down ? to the bed and looked at me sympathetic?. "Sir, I kn?his may soun?range, b?his might be a b?ing in d?ise.? />
"Why?"
It was a long minute before h?oke again. "Well, we???hing?e in??ng. Something th?asn't a bullet."

I felt cold. An...actual fairy? ??nd it? What had ? done? "?? What do you mean?"

?tood up. "You re? should ?peaking ?our ?or a? this. Just lie back, relax, and I'll call him, ??"

I grabbed his arm and ?ped ??ly. Tell me. Wh?as it? Tell me now!"

His ? went cold. ?. Remove?r hand, please."

I glanced down at hi?m, felt ashamed, and removed it. "I'm sorry.???e tell me."
He softened. Sighed. "All right. But you ?ld get more details from?r do??er, ?? I nodded, he went on. "It appea?o have been ?mor ?ome kind. We're not ???hat ?as, but ???he bulle?om going?aight through your lung and out the front of?r chest. It might ha?aved?r life and kept you from bleedin?t."
"A...tumor?" I felt numb.

"Well," ?aid. "A ?th. It may not have been cancerous at all."
"?hat ?ened to it?"

The ?e smiled, and looked confidential. "Don't worry,?. We removed it.??? clean and fine now. It'll be a few ? before you feel a h??ercent, and I wouldn't go joggin? do ?hing?enuous for a? weeks, but you're fine.? />

He nodded.
I felt cold all over. I couldn't think. I dropped back down onto the ?ital bed, and felt a??ing in my chest.??gence of??hen I looked up ?he EKG machine.
It wa? heart. And ? that.