Snark? mor
Mo? , May 21, 2007
Boneyard draft
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The graveyard? silent as a? es, ? ? d. The moon was high, shedding its cold light on the tombstones. The ground was quie? ? ing. The only sound was the ? pering of Be? footste? ? ? he brush? />At ? t one would rise ton? . She kn? hat. The silver stake was in? han? ? ? o severe? hat the ? ow e? eemed to vanish into midof its o? ? ion.
She noticed a splid blowing past her eye in the gentle moo? breeze.? lon? ousled blond hai? mbled down and over her ? ? s. Caref? maintained, sheeny, silky, perfect--except for ? goddamn fucking split end. Her brea? ? hed out in a sigh of? stration. She reache? and grabbed the? ward fiber, ? osing an eye in the process, pointed the stake d? ? in her right hand, and took hold of the hair.
Why?? an> she wondered? pan style="font-style: italic;">Why ? I be visited wi? he horrors of ultimate, ? omless evil on a daily b? ? Di? hou freakish beast! A? sed the point on the sta? o slice it off.
B? se of this digressio? he narrowly ? ? ? ing on a? ? st of earth ? breathed in and? , finally di? ging a hand ? groped for her ankle. She gasped an? umbled away before collecting herself in a feral stance, silver stak? the ready. She watched ? ? ? ural thi? ushe? self? of its muddy womb a? tood before her, ful? evealed in all o? s undead glory.
She could sme? he blood, beginning ? ulse? ide the animal. She looked longi? at its neck? dden? ememberi? hat it'd been a fullk since she'd eaten.? dead blood was leth? o va? es--the anim? riter Rice had gotten that much ? ect.
The newl? isen human h? ? brown hair,? ? growing longer. It was once female, she? ? ee, ? he g? ous wounds it ha? ? ed i? s short dayl? life began to heal ? ? ? ? rall? ick ? ? ffolds of flesh ? the? ing spaces. Breasts began to reappear, fallopian tubes and ovari? ? ted--and? e covere? er b? scle, blood ? els, and skin.
A soun? caped the corpse's mouth, a sigh? ? ? hed into the? ly-forming l? ? />
The heart appeared with? ? ibcage. Before long, it began to pum? blood began to ? and? ? ? ached themse? to the ? . Beck grew even hungrier. S? ould? e to? ? he d? ? t to the cem? y after ? one? />
The thi? as now depen? on blood to? vive. She rammed the stake into the still-visible heart, and it shuddered and gasped? mbled and finally co? sed into a heap of decomposed bo? ? , which began to dec? ntil? ile ? early-white bones collected ? he moonl? ? ? hose beg? o melt into a malignantly od? ? ddle that rapidl? ied and ? ? hing? stains ? ? erda? moist g? ? />
As Beck walked ? from the di? bed ? ? ? efle on the world of vampires she had been born into? ? ? e cows, ? only for their ability to feed several ? ire youn? once. As va? es aged, they needed? s and less blood to ? ive, and frequently ? e to? tain fro? man blood in preparation? eventua? tinction of the species.
But long-dea? ? ? e beginning ? ise again. All over the worl? ampires were beginni? o re? ? ? incidents of being attacked by ? rrected humans--? e bitten? t their fangs, developed an ? sion to norm? ampire food, and started goi? o the beach duri? he day. The attacks were becomin? idemand the ? ed States govern? had begun consc? ing citi? ? nig? graveyard duty.
? ? ere ? ied. Someone had to ? ? hing.
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Sunday,? 20, 2007
? p;M? m visit
? class="blog? ">The c? hono? hrong of jun? ? dying American history gushed through the so? halls, forming endlesslowin? ? aries of sma? groups who ? ped here and the? o comment on? ? ? ? on the walls.
On? ch g? ? sed at a? ter adve? ing a motion picture? />
"Oh my God, so cheesy!" That was the le? . I sighed i? dly. Thi? oup ? eenage g? seemed to be most at risk for being? ? ing,uting off smart-alecky comments during my tour. I hated ? ? ? hey seem? o de? e the significance of th? a.
? to ? roactive? pan>? hought. "Okay, kids," I said. "Over here? , and ki? ? ? as soon as ? ible and? ? we can get through the talky paore quickly,? ?"
Le? rolled her ? . I imme? ely dubbed her Bitch and switched on the prod. It was a good feeling, knowing that I'd be ready.
The ? p of kids co? ced in a? gh circl? ound me ? he entrance ? he Hall of American Memory. ? ept my hand behind m? the? ry columns, which we? ? ered? h re? hite, and bl? ? ? ? />
"Can anyone tell me what those colors mean?? />
"Bad ? e?" she said, smirking. Her coterie of compatrio? ittered uselessltrike one. I? t th? od hidden behind my back? t of sight.
I nodded. "Way to? h the berry out ? he hole.? t time, try to be a ? le more ? er." She looked ? ? ed, and ? uare? shoulders a? ent on, ? ? ? amples o? ide in a? nding ignorance asid? hose colors ? ? ? rese? he American flagten ? ? 'th? ars and Stripes,? he Star-Spangled Banner,? 'Old Glory.' Since its inceptio? he flag has used those c? s, although in diffe? ? terns, depending on the era and number o? ? ? olved. Originally, it wa? st a? of red and ? ? ripes with a small blue field that contained a ce of thirteen white ? s."
"
"Moving on." I led them in? he hall ? er, ? ring that th? ? emained hidden, movi? uick? ast the ? ? on the ? ican? ? ion, the? il War, the ? strial Revolution, and most ? ? ? ieth cen? , with only perf? ory references. ? should have? ered this in their G? ? ? ations c? e an? , and if? --that certa? ? ? my problem,? it?
Now the ? ion ? ? ays garnered the gre? t interest--Late? h/Early ? . Now, at last, several hand? p. I nodded ? he most likely candidate, a ? p-looking boy with black hair and intriguing eyes.
"Miss," he sai? hocking me at the polite? of his form of ? ess.? it true that most historians consid? ? ise ? he Unite? ? in the global hiera? to be completely incomm? ? h the rise o? evio? ? ? l civilizations?? />
I caugh? breath. They weren'? pan style="font-style: italic;">all i? s. Bitch looked disgusted, but kept a lid on the? itude, c? ing ? ead to f? on the MTV ? ama. I began to ? ? the? sibi? that I might actually not have ? ? ? rod ? tim? t. "The ? ? o that one is a ? lex one, my friend."? e, I? sed,? ure how precisely to? ase it. "The short answe? ? . Th? articular civilizati? ose to absolute power in a mind-boggling? ? span of time--only two ? uries. Most other so? ies ? reached the? el of the Americans took at
"Of? rse, a f? eople thought th? d and basically took over. This ? ened around the same time both civil? ? beg? o re? ? ? o seeing people suffer for e? tain? . For the Ro? ? ? the gla? or g? ; for the Americans, it was reality television--you can find? e information on thi? ? of ? ican culture? ? ound the? ner ? ? ? ? ? sonal favorite i? pan style="font-style: italic;">? ? ? an>.? way,? er became concen? ed in the hands of a? , while the ? ? ere ? ? ? ith thei? n decade? ? its, and soc? in general became even wealthier and mo? ? ful. There are many who think th? his single facto? what un? ? h civilizations ? ? sim? -and? the? se of their fall in the end.? />
Ano? han? his one from? ? blonde girl. "Miss,? hought both empires fell because of barbarian invaders?" Ano? thi? . Ch? . I was beginning to? e th? ? ould pro? o be? ? unn? ? ? />
"They only fell because they we? eakened from the? out and ? ? ld not muste? what was needed to ? e ba? ? rimitives. I? nal deca? ? ? e damaging in the lo? ? han external? ? ," I said shortly. "? is why our youn? ? sub? ? ? eat hard? and privati? ntil? e emotional ? ? comes. You ? tha? ? ? perienced th? ? elf." Th? oup ? ? nodded ? ly.
"My mother was beaten and? ed by peacekeepers," one? volunteered? />
I nodded. "See? An excellen? ample of? the proper development of appre? ion for one's blessings can lead to ? ? ? iven life. You are a? he cream of the ? , se? ed for further education and usefulness ? ociety."? h in the? e of? ch, ? eemed to lead to skankiness. Some people? ? st born to a sense of entitlemen? hich the? dship on? eemed to aggravate. ? ? ? the? ere ? le like me.
"Feel free to sca? ," I said. "Have a look ? nd and e? ience the wo? s of the? ? ? y-first ? ury. An age ? reme? chnological innovation, to b? re, but neverthe? ? eriod of maj? egression in social phil? hy. Chec? t th? hibit on the? ? ? y--it's fasc? ing and funn? the same time."
I heard a scoff, and the? ? s inside beg? o uncoil. Bitch.? urne? ound? />
"Yes?" I said.
"? shi? cheesy as hell," she whined. "W? he fuck am I? ting a day here? It sucks. This plac? cks." She paused, and looked at me dead ? he eye. "So ? ou. Cheap ha? t!" Clearly she ? ght she could in? ? one she liked. This made? ike three.
I ? ght the prod? ? ? cing? humming slightly. The air began to smell of ozone. Her ? widened in shoc? ? ? ed it do? o th? nction of her neck and left ? ? , to? ickly for her to bac? ay.
She fell ? he f? immedia? , of? rse, con? ing and shuddering. ? s of lon? perience enabled me to m? ain ? ? pre? e wi? ? rod. The smell o? rned flesh began to suffuse the air, and as she shrieked and waowed ? he f? , he? es openi? ide and ? ting? o lo? unnels of oozing jelly, the ? of her ? ? ? ook off for the ? ance of the museum and a? ent safe? ith their in? ? -chaperones.
I held it to? skin long enough for he? ? rst into flames, whi? ere optimize? their heat and the atmosphere inside th? ildi? ? ? uickly a? horoughly, leaving only scant remains to be metabolized ? he engineered-living? pet.? ? nglings realized that the Hardsh? rocess actually ? inued after thei? aduation, al? gh it was more of a winnowin? ? s than anything ? icul? ? mative--for the failed, at l? . Her classm? ? ? emember ? and lea? ? alue of ? ect and humi? ? />
Before a minute? up, the? as nothing but a? left. The air c? lato? ? o work, ? ying the? of burned Bitch and echoing the subsidence ? he darkninside.
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? as once ? eehouse
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A piebald llama ambl? ast, chewing? cud and blinkin? s ugly eyes.? ond ? as another llama, this one grey,? h an overgrown coat and ? ecul? e look o? s fl? ? zle,? sibly considering homicide o? s next e? ation.
I scanned the field. Llama? ? here? thi? ? re, I had lo? ince? t all sense ? ? standing of ? easons behind becoming a llama farmer. All I knew was that I? ? ed of th? ? mell? he c? ant ? ? ? hick? ? ? tyle="fo? tyle? alic? ? ? pan> of cud striking my back in ? sensiti? pot ? left of center.
A little llama fell to its k? a little way off. I brightened up immediately, hoping it had eaten something fatal. A black? zy llama? ? s wa? to it, ? ing cud and briefly reflecti? ? ame homicidal light ? hose dea? bs I had see? st a? mom? ago? ? qui? joined by a? chy-? ed llama who seemed not ? e right. It ? ? footing and fel? er briefly, ? ? ? sing? ery ? p rock--one of many I had plante? ound the field, ? in case. No luck there.
The curious onlo? s were becoming a throng, wi? wo more llamas joini? p. H? er, ? asn't until the duck waddled up ? I finally felt something vital give? ? ide my mind.
The ? ? , I came back to? elf.? ? itting a? table, which was laden with plates othe? ems, whi? ere of an odd va? y. Ten of the pl? contained meat ? ome kind, which I rapidly determined to be nine ? es of llama and one of duck. Accompanying those were plates of c? ecak? ? oes, and? hrooms, ? een which were a brick and a tablet--presumably inedible? /><>This was nothing new for me. A long time ago, a? ? ? ? ? er I died, I had spe? ome time as ? eehouse, general? orking childcare jobs. I had? ays been fond of hei? , and had often spent ti? eading in the shade of a goo? ee, ? his seemed like a good angle? me ? ork.
? y ni? ent home to my cake, whi? as large, roomy, and provided ample ? enance for a? ng, ? ing tree? e who often was exhauste? the end of a long d? ? chasing? er children and ? ring the? ? y. It was white with pin? im, thre? ories, and had a? cellent ? of the ? by llama? ? hich I had a? ? d of owning once? />
This idyllic ti? ? oon come to an end. One morning,? oke up, and two police officers were at the ? of my cake, waiting? me to emerge. T? ickl? eet scent of ora? wafted through the air.
'Good Lord,'? aid. 'Wh? ? pened?'
The largeliceman, who? heavyset an? inkly, looke? a n? ad in his hand. 'Mr.? se?'
? ?'
'You, uh,' and he shifted his weight here, adjusted his belt. ? ever ta? ith ? neighbors, Mr. ? e?'
'The orange a? ? ake?? , of? rse-? y ni? eople. Why?'
? ? ed h? t again and look? lightly unco? table. 'Did you ? ? thin? h, out of th? dinary last night, Mr. House?'
'No,' I said. ? the? 'd be unlikely. I wo? ery hard and sle? ery soundly,? see, and the cake i? ite a go? ound? ? or. All ? ? ter.? />
He nodded. 'And wha? it you Mr. ? e?'
H? ? his rele? ? I wondered to myself. But, alas, he was an off? of the law. 'I work in chil? e and landscaping mo? . I'm a full-tim? eehouse.? />
'I see.' He? ted loudly, shifted his weight once again, and looke? en more unco? table. 'Mr. ? ? ere you ? e of? ? sibl? oblems betwe? our neig? s?'
Problems? 'No, not that I know of,' I said. '? ? ? ite frie? people, and I g? he impression th? ere friends.? ?'
'Ah,' said the off? . 'I'm afraid th? ange slew the rake last night. Some ? of point they disagreed upon. There? te a? ffle. You don't ? ? ? of ? ? ld have ? ened?'
'Good God,' I said. 'No, nothing. I'm ? y I coul? help you.'
L? that day, I? so absentminded that I ? ly let one o? cha? ? s the earth beneath ? latform, and ste? ? ned him to mind the safe? ail. By the end ? he dI had ma? ? mind.
Ra? than return to my cake,? rudg? p the hi? o the llama farm, where I immediately sa? o ll? , one of whom wa? bbin? ? zzle aga? a myste? s part of th? her's anatomy. Rather th? ? late, I found the fa? , an? t of? iosity asked him? llamas were so prone to this.
He? ugged. 'Prob? ? tes like llama. ? lik? .' A pair of llamas and ? ? ? ered? ? ? ? enti? uddenly ? ? the dec? ated? pse of a llama lying nearby, from which ? her ? of llam? ere feeding. The? ror ? his scene rapidly di? ated as a late-model? d Anglia rumbled? t, a soon-to-be-? homicidal muzzle leanin? t of the driver's si? indow.
'My God,' I said. 'That llama'? iving a car!? />
He ? . 'Best not to alarm him, then. Can I he? ou?' In the back? nd, a llama ate ? ck.
'? his how ? told now?' ? ked. 'How ol? this place?? />
I knew I needed ? ? e. Just spend a life of ? ure, traveling around. As I ? ght ? ? s fe? pon one ? ? lates on the table, which contained the ? cerated and bare skeleton of a duck.
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